My four year old and the start of peer pressure.

Well before Shosh turned four years old she’s been picking out her own clothes. As soon as she could she made it know that she wanted dresses. She would go into preschool each morning she was there and show her teacher what she was wearing. Now she even dresses herself. Win win for me and for her, plus my pride in watching her discover herself.

Last week in the car on the way home from preschool she told me she needed to change her shirt. After I asked if she was dirty or wet, I asked why. Then I got an answer I wasn’t expecting to hear for a long time. She told me it wasn’t nice enough for preschool. I could feel the lump in my throat. At least one kid said something along the lines that her clothing was not nice.

I never imagined I would be dealing with these issues already at four years old. How do you explain to a four year old that they can be different and to be proud of it. Of course I tried. We talked about make our own choices and how to respond. She still changed into another outfit but I hope some of it stuck. At least the part about having a beautiful soul is more important than what we put on our bodies. I can see the challenge in front of her and want to impart on her the tools to combat it on her own terms.


2 thoughts on “My four year old and the start of peer pressure.

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  1. Unfortunately this is apart of the socialising process. I would suggest you inform your daughters teacher. If your daughter is feeling this pressure then undoubtedly there are others in the classroom who are feeling the same, even the individual who has placed this option on your daughter.

    There are many books out there on this subject that can be read and discussed. It is any good teachers responsibility to be aware of both the positive and negative situations happening in there classroom.

    As a parent i would discuss the value of her own style. As you have already mentioned your daughter feels very passionate about her attire and therefore she may think, at this stage in her development, that her cloths are a continuation of her inner beauty. So i would spend time with her discussing what she likes about her cloths. Explaining that you agree with her but that there may be some children who prefer ………. and that that’s ok. As if we all liked the same cloths then no one would make anything new and thus we would all wear the same old thing everyday.

    I commend you on providing an environment where your daughter feels safe to choose.


    1. Thanks for your feedback. I told her teacher the next day and she addressed it with the kids. I definitely agree that there are other children who may feel the same in the class and I’m glad they have they teacher they do to navigate this. I also like your suggestion of using her love of clothes for a wider discussion.

      Liked by 1 person

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