Shame and the blog

I’ve been working my way through Brene Browns book, “The Gifts of Imperfection”. I’m definitely going to have to reread it after I finish. It’s an easy read and has lots of good thought provoking information to delve into. It seems that everyone knows who Brene Brown is but me. She has been a TED speaker, friends with Oprah and interviewed all over. I enjoy her writing style in which she blends her stories and academic research together in easy way. As I read the book I’ve started to see all the ways that I am destructive to myself.

Since Brene originally started as a Shame Researcher, shame feels like a good place to start. Even as I write this blog I feel the “warm wash” of shame on me. It’s probably the reason I write the blog in the first place and why it is hard for me to decide what to post. As Brene writes “shame is all about fear”. It is hard to write my stories because of the feeling that people will think less of me. I also write because saying, I’m a stay at home mom, also conjures up shame in me. I can see how this is something I need to combat and see my worthiness. I need to evaluate the choices I make and why I make them.

I always knew that I could die but somehow I was able to keep that out of my head. I squandered time. Then I watched as time was ripped away from my mom. I don’t want to take time for granted. I don’t want to move forward with shame and perfection as my guide. I want to be my true self and I want that to be imparted on my kids. So the first part is talking about it and moving forward.

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